Martyrdom

Today’s post is a bit of a rant, so if you don’t need additional negativity in your day today, then please skip this post and continue on with your day and hopefully I’ll see you back here tomorrow 😊

I have a friend who perpetuates the stereotypical ‘women do everything around the house and men don’t do anything to help’ mentality. I don’t like stereotypes in general, and I especially don’t like gender-specific stereotypes. As I may have mentioned before, I am very good at ignoring things that I disagree with on social media, so I ordinarily just scroll past anything that she posts on this topic.

But today, she drags me into it, and THAT I can’t ignore. What she was basically implying was that I am lucky to have a guy who cooks for me. Um, no. I just happen to be with a guy who likes to cook. There’s no luck involved, it’s just who he is. And we make the joint decision that he cooks simply because he likes it. And because he likes it, he practises it more and is therefore better at it than me. And it’s not a skill that I’m interested in improving. If we both hated to cook, I’m sure we’d eat out a whole lot more or order delivery more or eat pre-made dinners more often. So we divvy things up around the house based on our personal strengths and interests. I look after our finances simply because I’m better at it. I wash the dishes because I prefer to do this than cook dinner. It’s about our strengths, not luck or gender. I believe in maximising our strengths rather than trying to minimise our weaknesses. And if I was feeling like I was being overwhelmed with too many things going on in my life, then I’d talk to N about it and he’d be there to help me out. That’s the whole point of a relationship, isn’t it?? 🤨

So I see it a bit like playing the martyr. And if you want to play the martyr, then by all means, go for it. Just please don’t drag me into your martyrdom with you because I choose not to play that game.