A bit of a rant

** Warning: I rant quite a fair bit in today’s post. So if you had a 💩 day too and don’t need more negativity in your life today, then please skip today’s post and I’ll just see you tomorrow. Or just read the last paragraph 😊 **

My dad’s mobile saga continues, sighhh… We finally gave up on finding the phone, and I just told them to go to Telstra, one of the telecoms in Oz, and just sort it out there. I erased all the data off his phone remotely before it lost battery, so hopefully that actually worked 🤞 I’m still annoyed that we couldn’t the phone using the Find My Phone function.

I do wonder sometimes if my parents like to have drama in their lives. I certainly don’t. I like my life to be as drama-free as possible. But I think some people like having drama in their lives, even if it’s at a subconscious level, just to keep their lives interesting, perhaps. They stressed me out and frustrated me to no end today, so much so that I had to take a quick nap in between lessons. It’s my busiest day too, and their stress just added to my stress 😒

And they also don’t seem to understand that I work. I no longer have a corporate job, but I still work. But this doesn’t seem to compute, and I feel like they think I just sit around and do nothing all day, and can happily take their calls whenever they call. My mum also doesn’t seem to realise that I can SEE that she has called, that my phone will tell me that I missed a call from her. Instead, my mum will call non-stop until there are literally SIX missed call notifications from her. WTH, man. So I text her and say, “I am in a meeting, I can’t talk right now.” And what does she do? CALL ME STRAIGHT BACK. WTAF. Seriously 😡

My dad doesn’t call. He just texts. And gets annoyed that I don’t text back straight away. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. It’s like they have forgotten that they used to work too, and that everyone is now retired like they are!

OK, rant over. I don’t like giving out negativity in the world, but it has just been such a stressful day that I needed to get that out today 😔

So on a more positive note, to balance all that negativity out 😆, social distancing rules have finally been relaxed in HK – yayyy 👏 Gyms have reopened, so N is very happy; and dine-in services at restaurants have been extended to 10pm. And groups of 4 people can now gather in public. Oh, and the most exciting thing for me: libraries have opened up again! Woohoo! 🥳 I may just go and borrow some books tomorrow. It’ll make me feel better after all the stress from today! 😊

The days leading up to Chinese New Year

My Chinese lesson was cancelled today. My teacher is spending the Chinese New Year holiday week over at her parents’ place, which I think is a fair drive from her place. I think her intention was to ring me from her parents’ place, but she must’ve been running late for whatever reason. Plus she sounded a little flustered when she rang me to cancel the lesson, so maybe she also felt bad that she had to cancel. And she also doesn’t get paid for the lesson, so she probably isn’t very happy with that either.

So despite getting back those 45 minutes, it still took me foreverrr to finish my next YouTube video. Sighhh… I really need to improve my editing process. It still takes me so long to finish editing just one video 😔 And here I am thinking of increasing that to 2 videos per week. Pffft! Maybe if I wanted to do YouTube full time and not have anything else in my life! Ooo, doing YouTube full time. That’s a thought. If it paid me enough, then sure, I’d love to! And there are a ton of people who are full-time YouTubers, so why not? 😊

And I’ve also started packing for our staycation 👍 I plan on heading out to the hotel tomorrow afternoon, so I’d like to have most of my stuff packed tonight so I don’t have to worry too much tomorrow. And I still have to bring my laptop and associated accessories because I’m still working tomorrow. But after tomorrow, we have a few days to relax in the hotel – and for me to do some more filming. Happy days 😊

💩 and compassion

I have come to the conclusion that everyone is either going through something in their life or they have gone through something. No one goes through life unscathed, if you will. Everyone’s 💩 looks different, and people also deal with 💩 in different ways. Some people have more 💩 than others, while others have more serious 💩 to deal with. But the point is, no one has NO 💩. And you don’t know what 💩 is in another person’s life unless they tell you.

Here are a few 💩 things that I have just come up with:

  • Dealing with a terminal illness, either their own or someone in their family
  • Dealing with loneliness
  • Dealing with alcoholism
  • Dealing with poverty
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Insecure about their looks and/or intelligence
  • Cannot sleep
  • Dealing with a terrible marriage / partnership
  • About to lose their job
  • About to lose their house
  • Losing a loved one
  • Have a job that they don’t like
  • Dealing with abuse
  • Feeling neglected
  • Feeling like they don’t belong
  • No meaning in their life
  • Living paycheck to paycheck
  • Living on an uncertain income
  • Not having enough money to eat
  • Not able to keep up with the Joneses
  • Not able to have children
  • Having too many children
  • Having an annoying neighbour
  • Not having any friends
  • Having parents who don’t love them
  • Struggling at school or uni
  • Dealing with a sick family member
  • Learning difficulties
  • Raising a difficult child

And I’m sure there are a bajillion other ones you can add to that!

And then people deal with their 💩 in different ways:

  • Drinking
  • Drugs
  • Sex
  • Withdrawing from social activities
  • Putting up a front to hide their true self from the world
  • Making fun of others, so the attention is drawn away from them
  • Lashing out at others
  • Constantly trying to prove their worth to others
  • Putting down other people
  • Avoidance of their issues, burying their head in the proverbial sand
  • Talking with others
  • Anger
  • Crying
  • Self harming

And I’m sure you can probably add a few more to that second list too.

So I’m trying to be much more compassionate now. Because you just never know what 💩 someone is currently dealing with and just how bad the situation is right now for them.

Nike’s slogan

I had a great time teaching Christmas-themed lessons today. It was fun teaching kids all the way to the more intermediate-level adults. I should’ve started from the beginning of the week, I would’ve had even more fun!

I then started to get a little frustrated in the evening, though, when I tried to organise a glamping weekend with N. I just felt like he just keeps pooh-pooing my ideas. Anytime a friend suggests something, he’s totally fine with it and is willing to go and try it. But then when I suggest something, it feels like I’m put through the wringer, like I need to pass some board assessment or SWOT analysis or something. Why is he willing to just go and try whatever a friend suggests, and yet feels the need to have to question my suggestion?? I don’t understand. And so it got to the point where I just walked out of the room and haven’t said a word to him since. Now I’m just ruminating and whinging about it here.

This is one of the reasons why it takes us so long to make decisions. It feels like this SWOT analysis / assessment thing needs to be done each time. But why is it always just my decision and not anyone else’s that needs to go through this?? That’s what’s so frustrating. It would be frustrating enough if all his decisions needed to go through this process, but it’s just doubly annoying because it seems like only my ideas need to be put through the process.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while now, you may know that I have been setting a one-word theme for each calendar year. My theme for this year was ‘growth’. I’m thinking my theme for next year might be ‘do’. In similar vein to Nike’s slogan. We over-analyse way too often, and I need to stop that and just ‘do‘ more often.

That balancing act

I went to that FX seminar again today. I’m becoming such a regular that the concierge in the building seems to recognise me now 😳

Despite feeling all pumped up after I attended the seminar, I am still not trading the way that I want to / should be. Despite reading all the stuff about the psychology and being in the right headspace when trading etc etc, I too am succumbing to it. I am doing everything that I shouldn’t! 😩 So I’m thinking of just taking tomorrow off, review my trades, review my trading plan, and start fresh on Monday.

But our friend arrives in SG tomorrow, and I have a feeling my trading will be disrupted quite a fair bit while she’s here. I need to find the right balance between making sure I spend adequate time on my trading (and the rest of my daily life) and also catching up with her. It’s hard when I work from home, it’s ultimately up to me to manage my time.

And of course I also want to spend time with her, since we don’t see her as much anymore. She’s a good friend; she’s coming over on her own; and as easy as it is to get around SG, it’s also nice to be shown around the place by someone who is (relatively) local.

So like I said, I need to find the right balance…

Or maybe I am just overthinking like I usually do?? 🤷‍♀️ In fact, I reckon I’m doing exactly this with my trading! By golly, I think I’ve hit the nail on the head! 🔨